Me Time (or How to Feel Appreciated)

Not seldom I find myself caught up in different talks in which I cannot seem to find my words, until the other person sums it up perfectly. A very recent conclusion to such a talk was: "Me time is underappreciated in some cases. Why did we arrive at the point where less rest and loneliness are the equivalent of laziness and selfishness?"

I don't really need an answer to this. It's more of a statement to reflect upon, more of a self-taught lesson actually.

More than 100% we've all been in that point where we have different things to do and there's literally no time to get together with others (as in: other people than the ones we work with or the ones we see at home, daily).
But then intervenes the self judgment that we sometimes tend to inflict upon ourselves: "Just this time, I will cancel my appointment so I can meet with my friend, just this time I will go out an hour for a get-together-coffee with my friend - even though I can barely speak (thank you sore throat!) - just this time I will be 15 minutes late for my afternoon appointment/ class (since I have to wait for my friend), just this time I will delay this project because my friend has problems and needs to be listened to..." No, no, no... not just this time, but every time!

And then, fast forward in the future - your own future - you, the one who always made time for others, you become the negative character in your own story. And when you realize you have put your own self at the bottom of the list, you feel tired and the thought "how you accustom others is exactly the way you have them and then they take you for granted" pops up into your mind. It's neither good, nor bad, but: you start feeling underappreciated and frustrated because you send yourself at the bottom of the list. Sure, life presents us sometimes with the most difficult situations we could have ever imagined, but that is not an excuse to forget about ourselves and keep on taking care of others 48 hours daily (yes, I am aware that there are still 24 hours in a day). Feeling miserable and like a robot does not mean to persevere and putting yourself first, does not make you a bad person.

Yes, we are social beings,

but minding your own business and going on with your life, is not anti-social.

I also strongly believe that saying to a friend (or someone you consider a friend) "I am also busy & I still make time to see you!", is not a polite way to treat your so-called friend. It's the contrary...

To step with your feet on your own wishes and tiny desires is unacceptable. Life happens: we grow up, we move alone (maybe), we find our (dream) job, we get married (one time, two times, many many times), we have children - and not necessarily in this order - and, then, there is no time to go get a haircut, enjoy a warm bath, watch a 20 minutes episode of your favourite TV show, go grab a beer with the boys,

be interested in politics, read a novel, sleep more than 5 hours per evening, so on. And I heard that brushing your teeth and taking a fast shower it's not "me time".

Could it be that we tend to sometimes surround ourselves with people who are afraid of being alone, with people who always need a second opinion, or that we are cowards to really face the ones that make us feel bad and we simply ignore them - hoping that the feeling of self-judgment will go away?!
What ever happened with the "you" who enjoyed breakfast every morning, with the "you" who dedicated a couple of hours, weekly, for a hobby, with the "you" who slowed down while walking?!

I firmly confess that I like to have snaily days, although I don't have the luxury to have them as often as I want. Sometimes they're during holidays (if I actually realize that I don't have to be in a hurry to do stuff), sometimes, if I get lucky (don't we make our own luck?!), I get to have 4 snaily days in a month, with sleep included. Just sometimes.

Taking the focus out of others (who are not dependent on us) has never made us selfish, nor bad. It's just a big different point of view. It's really o.k., from time to time, to crawl back to your own private sphere and stay there for a while.

Where: Munich (first two photos) and Murnau am Staffelsee;

When: towards the middle of June last year;

With: Nikon D5300 (VR 18-105mm f/3.5-5.6G; 18mm-105mm - ISO 200-800; 1/125s-1/1600s- f5-11; 0EV).